Music as a participation sport
There are spectator sports and there are participation sports. For example: golf. Is there anything more mind-meltingly tedious than watching millionaires wander around a park in brightly coloured knitwear? But, even allowing for that, people I trust tell me that they genuinely enjoy playing golf and I’ve got no reason to believe they’re lying.
Music however is a thing to make and a thing to appreciate. Maybe I appreciate it more or at least differently because I make it? Maybe this explains the golf thing too? Mostly I love making and performing music. I do it primarily for myself and I’m not hugely bothered about anyone else’s opinion on it - apart from whether they dance at a show.
I like to think about music in relation to sport like this: if someone tells you they run or play for a 5-a-side football team you would probably just be happy that they’re doing something that’s good for them and that brings them some joy. You almost never respond by asking how much they’re earning from it or if they’re good enough to play for Accrington Stanley.
There’s a really hard to shake idea that everyone should think of themselves as a brand and by extension, any talents or interests you may have are only worth cultivating to the extent that they can make you money. Like any normal person this idea makes me feel a bit gross and sad, so I’m trying not to think that way, even though I’m fighting years of programming.
I remember once in my early twenties, I was talking to a friend of mine who had not long graduated had gained a bit of a reputation as an excellent DJ. Mulling over his career choices with him at 4am I asked him why he wasn’t pursuing DJ gigs? His answer has stuck with me for decades. “Because I don’t want it to be my job.”
This was the first time I’d even considered this dichotomy. WORK vs FUN. The dream had always been to have a job doing a thing you love.
Over time I’ve started to appreciate this self-awareness more and more. I’ve always worked doing creative work - things I love - but I can attest to the fact that I don’t always love my work. Every job becomes work eventually, even if it’s only temporarily. I do suspect that my worst days as a designer are still better than my worst days as an accountant would be, but who knows?
Just like running or climbing is hard work - making music takes time and thought and craft. The question isn’t if it’s work, it’s more just who is that work for?